1  

Friends invited me for their wedding dinner. 

Being a generous bachelor, I gave $100 on every dinner which is considered way-too-much for a single person attending.  I didn't think like the majority, but rather view going to dinners, as a get-together with old mates.

But today, I changed my mind.  I could've chosen not to go to such dinner. 

1.  Inferior,  being a bachelor.
2.  Is it really a earn-back-all-the-hongbaos for the married couple?  Because, most times, Singaporeans always chat about "earning back the hongbaos".  Like, conversations revolve around $ $  $$$$  (that is,  being kaisu, etc.)

2

Is marriage really that important ?

Is having a partner really that necessary?  Say, if a person is independent, he could have all the freedom to do whatever things he loves to.  When it comes to old age, he could employ a care-giver.

Love-wise?  Hmm.  What is love, exactly? 
When I could've slept with my friend.  Not that she's someone whom I love, but rather a at-the-moment lust / fun / whatsoever u term it...


Ideally, you're someone who'd experienced all the wonderful post-marriage life? 
Or rather, u're a mum/dad of kids?
Or you could be doing anything,anywhere... for u're a super independent person enjoying life to its fullest.

If u could enlighten me? 
2 points:
it's okay not to go for dinners anymore  ?  (i may inflict damage with their relationship?  however i tried to text a buddy who just got married(then)... he didn't reply, so I assume he's busy Organising A Family.)  So I shan't give a damn, right?
If marriage is really important? 

(crap-wise, i suggest u start up a new topic)

Marriage is many a complicated thing.    Whether it is important or not is up to the individuals.    There is no hard and fast rule whether one should marry or not.  

I am selective, I don't attend all the wedding dinner.    In general (not referring to all cases), married couples are busy or not interested to entertain friends.    I have learnt this and hardly contact married couples any more.   It does not serve any good when calling them is something like interrupting in their private lives.

Its how you want to think.  How the couple thinks is up to them.  you the the best judge for the kind of people you surround yourself with...  yes, most married people call me only when they have children and especially when they have child and when they can get money out of me. So even though its my best friend,  it depends on whether I am free and whether I want to go or not. I have my own family to take care of too.

Most of the time, I will just leave the married couples, families on their own.   Let them have time for each other, for the family.  

I guess it is up to individual decision on whether one should attend a wedding feast.

If you dun want to attend one, you have to tell all your friends so that they do not invite.

At the same time, you can forget about holding a wedding feast yourself as your friends will be skipping your wedding dinner also.

It is a give and take process.

Nothing inferior about being a bachelor.

It is one's choice of life.

It is your life and you decide.

I know there is a general sinful thinking about being single in singapore.

But, if you have made your choice clear, your friends should be able to understand that and leave you alone.

Go for wedding dinner when you feel you like too lah...No one actually force you whether to go or not.

I going becos i celebrate joy with my friends...Hong Bao more or less I dont care. If they look at hong bao as so impt, than they just make friends with you money, not you

I agreed that to go to a wedding feast if you know most of the people there.

It is very awful if you are seated with a table of 9 strangers.

If I am there to make up for the numbers or if I am not close to the married couple, I will politely reject the wedding invitation.

$100 where got alot?

and..

can don't go// but ang bao still give mah.. they invite you.. its like a blessing la

Originally posted by youyayu:

$100 where got alot?

and..

can don't go// but ang bao still give mah.. they invite you.. its like a blessing la

Depends on how much the couples pay for each dinner table. 

Point number 1:

Ur life dun revolve around others.  U make ur own choices.  If u dun feel like goin, even if it's best fren, u can dun go.  But, not all pple invite frenz jus becos they wanna earn back, they jus want their loved ones to be around to give blessings.  Who is which, u decide.

Point number 2 :

Love is an abstract illusion.  U wont know wat is love unless u experience it.  U wont experience it when u dun feel it.  Marriage is nothing but a status.

Marriage helps to give one a purpose in life. To have a family, to have responsibilities, as much burden as it may be sometimes, the joy of having one is unparallel.

nowadays $100 is market price only. each table can easily got over 900... if you add in the liquor and wine, anything lesser than a hundred the couple would have suffered a lost

Wedding dinner is something that would drain the savings of the parties involved and the usual practise is to actually allow them to enjoy the gathering to celebrate the union of the parties involved and not having to burn a big hole in their pocket.

It's okay if you are not going but the fact that they invited you, they already paid for your meal even if you are not going there. It would depend on you whether or not you are going to help them to reduce the cost.

Talking about your "big" 100 bucks is not like the biggest ang bao that one had given and typically, it might not be able to cover the expenses let alone earn...

In regards to marriage... you do not have to fulfill that unless you really find someone whom you think is able to spend the rest of your life with. It is normal for people to stay unwed nowsaday as well as in the past.

give 59 more than enuff

Originally posted by youyayu:

$100 where got alot?

and..

can don't go// but ang bao still give mah.. they invite you.. its like a blessing la

Wa lua, since like you very rich, although $100 is not much, but it is no little too...I always heard ppl say they put alot, but come to wedding dinner time, keep on asking me how much i pack my hong bao. Are you one of them?

Actually money and marriage shouldn't be serve on the same plate.

Just give the amount which you feel most comfortable of.

U want to old already everyday sti at coffee shop and drink kopi talk to friends . Free that time go geylang find chicken ?

Or u want to old already got son grandson and a happy family .

Chose

And how would one know it's a happy family when one is old?

And how would one know that if unmarried, one's sunset years are that of a lonely and desolate situation?

Like someone has put it, "market rate". I thought giving is from the heart? Putting a commercial term to it has just cheapened the meaning of lifetime matrimony.

And why can't people respect that $100 is indeed generous for as he put it, a "single person" attending. There are much worse ang paos than that. What is generous to some may not be the same to others.

Originally posted by Chunseah:

Wa lua, since like you very rich, although $100 is not much, but it is no little too...I always heard ppl say they put alot, but come to wedding dinner time, keep on asking me how much i pack my hong bao. Are you one of them?

emm.. depends.. but the least i put is $100.. if good hotel then add more bah

___________________________________________________________

the food is normally shit.. now shark fin soup also don't have liao.. got but is fake de

and the package is getting mroe ex.. why sia!!!

No abalone no shark fin, table cost 1.2k/table .. wow la.. lol

Originally posted by dont know much:

1  

Friends invited me for their wedding dinner. 

Being a generous bachelor, I gave $100 on every dinner which is considered way-too-much for a single person attending.  I didn't think like the majority, but rather view going to dinners, as a get-together with old mates.

But today, I changed my mind.  I could've chosen not to go to such dinner. 

1.  Inferior,  being a bachelor.
2.  Is it really a earn-back-all-the-hongbaos for the married couple?  Because, most times, Singaporeans always chat about "earning back the hongbaos".  Like, conversations revolve around $ $  $$$$  (that is,  being kaisu, etc.)

 

2

Is marriage really that important ?

Is having a partner really that necessary?  Say, if a person is independent, he could have all the freedom to do whatever things he loves to.  When it comes to old age, he could employ a care-giver.

Love-wise?  Hmm.  What is love, exactly? 
When I could've slept with my friend.  Not that she's someone whom I love, but rather a at-the-moment lust / fun / whatsoever u term it...


Ideally, you're someone who'd experienced all the wonderful post-marriage life? 
Or rather, u're a mum/dad of kids?
Or you could be doing anything,anywhere... for u're a super independent person enjoying life to its fullest.

 

If u could enlighten me? 
2 points:
it's okay not to go for dinners anymore  ?  (i may inflict damage with their relationship?  however i tried to text a buddy who just got married(then)... he didn't reply, so I assume he's busy Organising A Family.)  So I shan't give a damn, right?
If marriage is really important? 

(crap-wise, i suggest u start up a new topic)

 

Marriage per se means nothing if it doesn't lead to overall emotional and spiritual fulfillment that many seek to attain. Some people got hold of it without much problem, while others desperately fight to source it. Nevertheless, one cannot divorce Love from their life without feeling some form of inadequacy. 

Eric Erikson developmental stages mentioned about Intimacy verse Isolation stage; for if one is unable to achieve intimacy, isolation is likely to occur for an individual.

I met a few people who argued that they did not need Love in their life at all. Absolutely.

Then again, though the quality of their life might not suffer as they will not encounter the typical woes that besiege a relationship, but critically, the richness of life as a whole will greatly be amiss and will inevitably cause some form of stagnation. Though one wouldn't die without Love, but one cannot seek to leverage much from a life devoid of Love. Of course, one can seek to substitute this lack through active involvement in various causes, but that's only if the individual is motivated to act in this manner. Sometimes, people lacking in love are just about leading inane lives with little meanings as well, which worsen the void further.

In Astrology, there is a pattern of Saturn affliction, involving people having difficult relationship with others. This difficulty stems from loneliness, superiority complex, overly rigidity or emotional crystalization - usually influence by karmic ties with the notion of Love.

I must emphasize this point: everyone has different internal root reasons for the external cause of isolation. People might be similar, but no two developmental process and the attitude towards those processes are the same.

My question to you is simple. 'Why ain't marriage important?' Or Love, for example, if marriage seemed a little too far fetched.

You probably might want to understand why would you place yourself in such pessimism and negative attitude towards it. You might want to analysis the route tracing to your innate belief and then seek to undo some of the negative values that might have been unconsciously promoted during your growing up years.

Then you might just answer your own question unwittingly.

Cheers

A wedding dinner is a social event. A show hosted by the couple and their family. Just because you go to your friend's wedding, does not always means they will come to yours. 

A wedding is just another party. So don't feel pressured to attend because they are your friends. If you don't want to go in person. ..just issue them a smaller ang pao as a token for the invite.

Not everyone is suitable to be a marriage partner.

If you are one,

who cannot compromise.

who does not find joy in giving.

who constantly calculates how much you should give according to how much you get.

who believes that eating chicken rice everyday will bore you.

Then you are not a person suitable to be in a marriage life.

Don't be pressured to be married because of the society or culture.. because in the end.. it is you who must live through your decision.

People get married because they need a constant/ an anchor in their life.

If you enjoy floating aimlessly like a yacht without a sail.. and enjoys solitude.. then being single is a good thing for you.

Originally posted by dont know much:

1  

Friends invited me for their wedding dinner. 

Being a generous bachelor, I gave $100 on every dinner which is considered way-too-much for a single person attending.  I didn't think like the majority, but rather view going to dinners, as a get-together with old mates.

 

But today, I changed my mind.  I could've chosen not to go to such dinner. 

1.  Inferior,  being a bachelor.
2.  Is it really a earn-back-all-the-hongbaos for the married couple?  Because, most times, Singaporeans always chat about "earning back the hongbaos".  Like, conversations revolve around $ $  $$$$  (that is,  being kaisu, etc.)

 

 

2

Is marriage really that important ?

Is having a partner really that necessary?  Say, if a person is independent, he could have all the freedom to do whatever things he loves to.  When it comes to old age, he could employ a care-giver.

Love-wise?  Hmm.  What is love, exactly? 
When I could've slept with my friend.  Not that she's someone whom I love, but rather a at-the-moment lust / fun / whatsoever u term it...


Ideally, you're someone who'd experienced all the wonderful post-marriage life? 
Or rather, u're a mum/dad of kids?
Or you could be doing anything,anywhere... for u're a super independent person enjoying life to its fullest.

 

If u could enlighten me? 
2 points:
it's okay not to go for dinners anymore  ?  (i may inflict damage with their relationship?  however i tried to text a buddy who just got married(then)... he didn't reply, so I assume he's busy Organising A Family.)  So I shan't give a damn, right?
If marriage is really important? 

(crap-wise, i suggest u start up a new topic)

 

if u know them well nothin wrong to go n share the happiness... y bother abt the angpow $$$..... if still affects u so much then jz check the rate per table for tat restaurant n give the right amt... since u inferior then jz mail them the angpow n say u not gng...

marraige more than jz sex alone... its step to confirm u want to b with your partner for life... u r a sad person.... gd luck to u...

Originally posted by Chunseah:

Go for wedding dinner when you feel you like too lah...No one actually force you whether to go or not.

 

I going becos i celebrate joy with my friends...Hong Bao more or less I dont care. If they look at hong bao as so impt, than they just make friends with you money, not you

agree..

my friends invited me to join in their joy of getting married..so i just attended..take it as a chance to gather with old friends / colleagues also..